Festivals, Relationships, and the Tender Spaces Between Us
Festivals come in many forms, Christmas, Hanukkah, Lunar New Year, Eid, Kwanzaa, Diwali, and many others. For some people, these moments bring joy and connection. For others, they stir up something more complicated. Sometimes festivals highlight what’s missing, or bring old tensions to the surface. Sometimes they simply ask more of us than we have to give.
If your relationship feels a little unsettled during these times, you’re not alone. Festivals often make whatever is already tender feel a bit louder. It doesn’t mean anything is wrong with you. It just means you’re responding to a season that carries a lot of emotion, memory, and expectation.
I felt this myself recently. I came across a video of someone singing in a dialect from my childhood. As soon as I heard the familiar sounds, it touched something in me straight away, in that quiet, familiar way memories do. It brought me back to the early years of my life, the everyday rhythm of home, the way my family sounded, the feeling of being held by a place and its people.
The singer’s voice had the same tone and cadence as my dad. It stopped me for a moment. Both my parents have passed away, and hearing that dialect spoken so naturally brought a wave of emotion I wasn’t expecting. I found myself tearing up, not out of sadness alone, but from being reminded of people and moments that aren’t physically here anymore, yet still live so vividly inside me.
It reminded me that festivals don’t just bring celebration. They also bring echoes, of home, of loss, of love, of the parts of our lives that shaped us. These moments can be tender, bittersweet, and very human.
When everything feels a little more charged than usual, small things can help. Taking a breath before reacting. Saying what you need, even if it feels small. Letting expectations soften. Sharing time and space without trying to fix everything. Noticing how small acts of kindness can gently shift the atmosphere. These aren’t rules, just gentle invitations.
Festivals don’t have to be perfect to matter. They don’t need to be magical or full of sparkle. They can be quiet, simple, imperfect, and still meaningful. They can hold both joy and sadness, closeness and distance, hope and tiredness. You’re allowed to show up exactly as you are, nothing more, nothing less.
If this season feels tender for you, you’re in good company. And if you’re moving through it gently, that’s already enough.
Written by Kangli
